My throat should be numb; and it is. But from the physical ailments that plague my body, not from the nonstop screaming inside my head. The pounding pulsing throughout the temples of my head, however, I think I can blame on both. It's been going on for quite some time now. The flu's have been coming and going, every weekend almost. My immune system doesn't seem to be working right. Somehow in my weakened condition, aided by sleep loss, I seem to contract a new flu almost as soon as the old one is gone.
The screaming seems to take on the same pattern. The reason is similar, but the core is different. This time, the weakened immune system isn't my body, but my heart. When we don't get sleep, proper nutrition, and exercise, we become vulnerable to more attacks. It only makes sense that our hearts respond in the same manner. Do we go to God enough to let Him give us rest? "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken"-Psalm 62:1-2. Are we shaken because we don't go to God for our rest and our refuge? Is that where much of our sickness begins to fester, is in the weariness of our hearts? Only God can restore our rest, give us new strength. We can take as many over the counter drugs as we want, but most only make the symptoms go away, mask them. Only medicine directly targeted for the precise sickness can truly (sometimes) cure the illness. In the same way, filling our souls with cheap, over the counter substitutes will never be efficient. They may take our mind of our stress for a moment, but the thought is still there in the mind. They may make us feel relaxed, for a time, but the underlying problem is still there. In the same way, resting in the refuge of God's presence is our only true antidote for our spiritual sickness.
Christ says that His word is our "Daily Bread," vital nutrition for our spiritual lives. So many times we fill our bodies, and hearts, with junk food instead of nutritious food which aid in our health. We fill our hearts and minds with things not of Christ, and yet we hope to be healthy and strong Christians. We hope to "fight the good fight" and move forward in strength. How can one do that if we starve ourselves of proper spiritual nutrition, the Word of God? Going into battle, we need our armor on for protection. We must put on the full Armor of God. One of the most important ways to do that is to continuously fuel our spiritual bodies with the daily bread.
And last, but definitely not least of these, is exercise. I know, I know. I just groaned with you too. But it's so crucial to our physical bodies, and to God. We must keep our body in shape if we wish to have good health, strength, and endurance. In the same way, exercising our faith on a regular basis is what keeps us moving forward in strength, endurance, and spiritual health. So many times we struggle to get even 30 minutes of uninterrupted exercise. So many responsibilities get in the way, and day after day it gets shoved on the back burner. Finally we look in the mirror and don't like what we see. When you look in the mirror, do you see the person you want to be? Or have you grown fat on God's love and grace, too busy to share, practice, exercise your faith and love to those around you? We can park at the end of the parking lot, and take the stairs instead of the elevator to get exercise. We can incorporate these things into our daily lifestyle so that they don't become a demand, an inconvenience to carry out. In what ways can we incorporate exercising God's love, grace, kindness, goodness, self-control, faithfulness, humbleness, graciousness in areas of our life, in a way that becomes part of our lives, not a demand to "throw in a little love for this person here" or "forgive this person on Wednesday."
The coughing seems to be ceasing a little bit more. The screaming, not so much. I beg and wail within me, praying for the peace and joy of God to come to me. For days at a time I beg, I wait on Him. He has never left my side, even when I don't feel Him there. Sometimes God lets us go through hard seasons in our lives, but that doesn't mean He has left us. I will wait on Him. He may not swoop down and make everything the way I hope, but one thing I know. He promises to never leave me. And He won't. He is here, in the middle of my storm, going before me every step of the way. I am sick, of body and of spirit, but He says to come, "come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Come, eat of my bread, my Word which will quench your hunger and thirst, for I am the Living Water. Come, exercise my love to those around you. Don't hoard it to yourself and grow fat on my mercy. Share your bounty with those who have little. Come.
I am sick. We all are sick, some at one point or the other, some always. But I know the great Physician, and if we come to Him for His expertise in rest, nutrition, and exercise, He will mend our broken hearts and heal us deeper than any prescribed medicine will ever be able to do. I may be sitting in the waiting room right now, but the Doctor is here, and He will come for me, and He will call me by name.
