The title sounded promising, with hopes that the video would help encourage my own "Dog Days" to come to an end. In all honesty, I found no interest or enjoyment in the video or song. I think I shut it off half way through. But the title alone, along with my friend's enthusiasm for sharing it with me did spark hope in me. I didn't gain anything from the song itself, but I knew my friend wished for my days to improve, for my life to move in a better direction. Holding on to the hope that one day they would, I moved forward and kept the phrase in the back of my mind. I haven't listened to that song since, but today as I look at my life and the darkness which Christ has brought me out of, I can say with complete joy, that my own "Dog Days Are Over!"
After going back and reading my last post, I smile and take joy in the fact that the blessings of today were not possible without the strong hand of my Savior. I read back and remember my lack of strength, even in being able to carry my heart and burdens to Jesus. The last post ended with concluding as such, and my last words were "Jesus, save me!" My hope and trust that He would come through was nearly non-existent. The Bible says that God draws near to those who draw near to Him. I had not even the motivation nor strength emotionally to carry my heart to Him. I had built so many walls around heart to protect it, I could barely find or recognize my true self anymore. But Jesus heard my cry, He heard my need for Him, and He came in my darkness.
He didn't brighten my life immediately. He didn't take away all my depression, my dark days, or tear down those walls within a second. But He never left me. He was faithful, and carried me right through the middle of the storm. It has been a long, hard, and many times a painful process to bring me to the place I am now. Lies have been dispelled and replaced with truth, trials overcome and replaced with strength, victories won and rewarded with wisdom, crazy love poured out through vulnerable forgiveness, and above all, reckless abandon of my heart to my loving King has replaced the havoc and reckless abandon of my heart to the lies and oppression of the Enemy!
Truth, strength, forgiveness, love, holiness, purity, beauty, and the acknowledgement of it; none come easily, and especially not on our own. There has been much pain and difficulty in learning, but the blessings of joy, life lessons, and wisdom far exceed the pain of the struggle. I have lost much and many, but I have gained a trust and joy in Christ throughout it. I trust and hope in the Lord and in His goodness, and I will fear and worry not. Worry tells God He's not big enough, that we will take over now since He can't or (in our fallen belief) won't. This is not only a sin from pride, but also a falsehood concieved and impressed upon humans by Satan, our greatest enemy. Trust God even in the pain, because He will bring blessings through it, even when you can't seem to see the way out.
As of late, many circumstances and aims for destruction from the Enemy have tried to work their way into my heart and life, but God, in His faithfulness, is using it to lead me into the reckless abandon of my heart and into the crazy love which He so deeply desires from us. And which I am constantly learning as of late, through which reckless abandon and crazy love can only come through, takes complete, unabashed, brazen vulnerability. Yes, we all just shuddered a little bit. But seriously, it's downright terrifying sometimes, and almost impossible during others.
By no means is brazen vulnerability a naturally desired quality by humans, none that I've personally met anyhow. For example, many followers of Christ wholeheartedly seek and desire, through the Holy Spirit, to become holy, loving, graceful, loving, faithful, trusting, and beautiful. These are desired qualities that many deem are qualities of a "good Christian." Vulerabilily, however, is not so often glorified or sough after. Why? Because it down right hurts, and scares us to death. Being completely open and raw leaves room for people and the world around us to hurt us, cut us, break our hearts. It leaves our real, true selves open and unprotected, open to judgement, pain, and the feeling of putting ourselves on the front line of battle. It means we have to let go of fear, pride, and the illusion that we can efficiently protect ourselves. But the truth of the matter is this: with Christ, we don't have to strive so hard to protect our hearts when we have Him. Why should we strive so strenuously to keep our hearts protected, when Christ should have it all? Do we not trust Him to carry us through, to put salve on our hearts, and continue to be the love that pours through our hearts when our own is not sufficient?
This is not to say we should throw our hearts out to every person we meet, that we should whole heartedly trust every stranger as though they were a friend. His word says not to "throw your pearls before swine." We should be wise about who we share the deepest caverns of our heart with. We should, especially women, save the mysteries of our souls for our mate. Vulnerability does not necessarily mean bearing our soul and every detail of our hearts for all to see. But what it does mean is keeping ourselves open to unconditional love for each person, especially those who hurt us most. In fact, it's usually those we are closest to that tend to scare us into sheltering our vulnerability.
I personally find that my walls and flat countenance of spirit (automatic defense by showing no emotion whatsoever) are immediately thrown up in the presence of my family and certain friends. Showing any emotions, any tenderness, any softness of spirit simply insights fear in me- fear that they will see me as I am- a flawed, sinful human being in need of a Savior. And in other cases, fear of being hurt by those who have failed us, those we don't want to lose, because we love them so dearly. The fact is, people are always going to fail us, as we fail them.
What quality of life, or power of Jesus Christ can be displayed in our lives if we keep our hearts shut down, fearful to love completely and unconditionally? Jesus says to come to Him; He is the keeper of our hearts. He continues to heal and restore in ways we can never begin to understand or do for ourselves. He calls us to have crazy love for everyone. If our hearts are not one hundred percent open, we can not love competely. If our hearts are guarded, we miss out on the blessings that being open with others can bring. We must trust Him to heal our hearts when we love so vulnerably and our hearts get shattered as a result because of it. And they WILL be. It's a chance, and it's dangerous, but its the only way. There is no fear in loving openly and vulnerably if we know we have Jesus Christ to run to. If we give Him, and Him alone our hearts to protect, He will always take care of us. We may bleed deeply at times, but the scares and beauty He will bring from pain will be worth it all.
What does this look like then? It looks like unconditional forgiveness and love towards those wo hurt you-over, and over, and over again. When asked how many times we should forgive, Jesus said "seven times seventy." It looks like being gracious and tender as women of God. His word says "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 as well as "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:4
It looks like following Jesus into the dark places we fear, in trust that He will bring us through.
God has created us in His image. He is a passionate, seeking, loving God with a zeal for our hearts. Are we passionately, wholeheartedly seeking His heart with the same zeal? Can we trust Him enough to say "I give up my pride and striving to protect myself, God, I trust YOU to hold me together"? It's scary, and excruciatinly hard, but its so worth it. I encourage you to see where brazen vulnerablilty will more wholely lead you into the passionate reckless abandon and crazy love which our great God gives and calls us to daily.
Will you give up your own will for futile self-protection, and just trust Him today with you heart, your whole heart? Continue to forgive and in turn, love in ways you never thought possible. Brazen vulnerability. Will you join me today? I hope you will.
May Jesus continue to lead, teach, and heal our thirsty hearts. I will follow Him where He leads, even if it means darkness and chaos but nothing but His hands holding me. But thankfully, for the time being, Dog Days are Over!
Blessings,
Katie Grace
By no means is brazen vulnerability a naturally desired quality by humans, none that I've personally met anyhow. For example, many followers of Christ wholeheartedly seek and desire, through the Holy Spirit, to become holy, loving, graceful, loving, faithful, trusting, and beautiful. These are desired qualities that many deem are qualities of a "good Christian." Vulerabilily, however, is not so often glorified or sough after. Why? Because it down right hurts, and scares us to death. Being completely open and raw leaves room for people and the world around us to hurt us, cut us, break our hearts. It leaves our real, true selves open and unprotected, open to judgement, pain, and the feeling of putting ourselves on the front line of battle. It means we have to let go of fear, pride, and the illusion that we can efficiently protect ourselves. But the truth of the matter is this: with Christ, we don't have to strive so hard to protect our hearts when we have Him. Why should we strive so strenuously to keep our hearts protected, when Christ should have it all? Do we not trust Him to carry us through, to put salve on our hearts, and continue to be the love that pours through our hearts when our own is not sufficient?
This is not to say we should throw our hearts out to every person we meet, that we should whole heartedly trust every stranger as though they were a friend. His word says not to "throw your pearls before swine." We should be wise about who we share the deepest caverns of our heart with. We should, especially women, save the mysteries of our souls for our mate. Vulnerability does not necessarily mean bearing our soul and every detail of our hearts for all to see. But what it does mean is keeping ourselves open to unconditional love for each person, especially those who hurt us most. In fact, it's usually those we are closest to that tend to scare us into sheltering our vulnerability.
I personally find that my walls and flat countenance of spirit (automatic defense by showing no emotion whatsoever) are immediately thrown up in the presence of my family and certain friends. Showing any emotions, any tenderness, any softness of spirit simply insights fear in me- fear that they will see me as I am- a flawed, sinful human being in need of a Savior. And in other cases, fear of being hurt by those who have failed us, those we don't want to lose, because we love them so dearly. The fact is, people are always going to fail us, as we fail them.
What quality of life, or power of Jesus Christ can be displayed in our lives if we keep our hearts shut down, fearful to love completely and unconditionally? Jesus says to come to Him; He is the keeper of our hearts. He continues to heal and restore in ways we can never begin to understand or do for ourselves. He calls us to have crazy love for everyone. If our hearts are not one hundred percent open, we can not love competely. If our hearts are guarded, we miss out on the blessings that being open with others can bring. We must trust Him to heal our hearts when we love so vulnerably and our hearts get shattered as a result because of it. And they WILL be. It's a chance, and it's dangerous, but its the only way. There is no fear in loving openly and vulnerably if we know we have Jesus Christ to run to. If we give Him, and Him alone our hearts to protect, He will always take care of us. We may bleed deeply at times, but the scares and beauty He will bring from pain will be worth it all.
What does this look like then? It looks like unconditional forgiveness and love towards those wo hurt you-over, and over, and over again. When asked how many times we should forgive, Jesus said "seven times seventy." It looks like being gracious and tender as women of God. His word says "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 as well as "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:4
It looks like following Jesus into the dark places we fear, in trust that He will bring us through.
God has created us in His image. He is a passionate, seeking, loving God with a zeal for our hearts. Are we passionately, wholeheartedly seeking His heart with the same zeal? Can we trust Him enough to say "I give up my pride and striving to protect myself, God, I trust YOU to hold me together"? It's scary, and excruciatinly hard, but its so worth it. I encourage you to see where brazen vulnerablilty will more wholely lead you into the passionate reckless abandon and crazy love which our great God gives and calls us to daily.
Will you give up your own will for futile self-protection, and just trust Him today with you heart, your whole heart? Continue to forgive and in turn, love in ways you never thought possible. Brazen vulnerability. Will you join me today? I hope you will.
May Jesus continue to lead, teach, and heal our thirsty hearts. I will follow Him where He leads, even if it means darkness and chaos but nothing but His hands holding me. But thankfully, for the time being, Dog Days are Over!
Blessings,
Katie Grace
